Over the Garden Fence - Gardening Forums

by **butterfly** » Dec 16, 2008 10:45 am

Why do fights start?

> When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace
> expensive.....so, I took her to a gas station..... and that's how the fight
> started....
>
> I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Miller Light for $14.95.
> Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for $7.95. I told her the beer would
> make her look better at night than the cold cream. And that's how the fight
> started.
>
> After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social
> Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's license to
> verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at
> home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home
> and come back later. The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'. So I opened my
> shirt revealing my curly silver hair. She said, 'That silver hair on your
> chest is proof enough for me' and she processed my Social Security
> application. When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience
> at the Social Security office. She said, 'You should have dropped your
> pants. You might have gotten disability, too' And that's how the fight
> started.....
>
> My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept
> staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby
> table. My wife asked, 'Do you know her?' 'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old
> girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those
> many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since.' 'My God!' says my
> wife, 'Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?' And
> that's how the fight started.....
>
> I rear-ended a car this morning. So, there we were alongside the road and
> slowly the other driver got out of his car. You know how sometimes you just
> get soooo stressed and little things just seem funny? Yeah, well I couldn't
> believe it.... he was a DWARF!!! He stormed over to my car, looked up at me,
> and shouted, 'I AM NOT HAPPY!!!' So, I looked down at him and said, 'Well,
> then which one are you?' And that's how the fight started.....
>
> I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my order
> first. 'I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please.' He said, 'Aren't
> you worried about the mad cow?' 'Nah, she can order for herself.' And that's
> how the fight started.....

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