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What do you do for social outings?

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Re: What do you do for social outings?

Postby Grannygardener » Dec 21, 2008 1:35 am

Welcome back Lulu. So sorry to hear about your friends, especially this time of year when everybody is so stressed out and supposed to be a happy time of togetherness and giving.I lost my 2 best friends , my dad and husband in a relatively short period of time and feel very much alone at times. Thank dog for my children and grandchildren,my sanity-savers.This forum is a godsend too. One realizes that you're not alone.Unlike many, I love Christmas. The decorating, cooking , gift buying and the stress.I'm days behind but don't care. If it gets done Bravo. If not, only I know.This is one time of the year that I can pull an all-nighter and think it was worth every minute. Last year after my husband passed away I went into a real slump, basically vegged out in front of the boob tube. My own health is waning and I decided there was still some living to be done.I hope I can keep up the momentum. I need to thank many of you on this forum, because your daily smiles, cooking exploits, occasional jokes and just tales of daily living want one to reconnect each morning. And lets not forget our common interest, "gardening".That's what brings us all here in the first place.Thank you everyone and Merry Christmas. Edie
I've spent most of my time in the garden,the rest I've wasted. Edie Zone4A, Ont.
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Re: What do you do for social outings?

Postby Katherine » Dec 21, 2008 2:19 am

Lulu, that is just awful. What a burden for you to bear, and at Christmas too. I am sorry.

Kat
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Re: What do you do for social outings?

Postby Trailblaze1 » Dec 21, 2008 8:46 am

I LOVE your attitude, Lulu. You're an inspiration. At this time of year, and with the harsh weather we're currently having, a bright light like yours is a godsend to others. Thank you for sharing this.

I guess, ultimately, if you really, really think about it, we are all alone (inside our heads, anyway); nobody understands us the way we'd like (except maybe our pets - yay pets!); we know we will go out that final door by ourselves, and yet, while we're here....we continue to love and cherish one another, give a hand or a kind word, share laughs and sometimes sorrows. Internet friends are a new thing for lonely people who cannot get out, and truly valuable.
Trailblaze is Diane Woodman
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Re: What do you do for social outings?

Postby Lindamct » Dec 21, 2008 9:38 am

Lulu, sorry for your loss my friend. I can truly relate to this. I lost the one man who I loved in a most spiritual way, my wonderful Dad, the end of October. DH lost 2 uncles this year as well. It has been a sad time for both of us. It just doesn't seem like Christmas even when the pretty snow is flying today. I know things will get better for us all. I have Laura's beautiful Christmas tree on my desk top which certainly does bring a smile to my face. Perhaps one day I shall do a nice big tree again. I am really really looking forward to Spring already. Hugs to all. :D
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Re: What do you do for social outings?

Postby Lulu » Dec 21, 2008 9:45 am

Thanks for the welcome back. Please allow me to "ramble", just a bit.

I have always considered myself very, very fortunate, to have had Karen as my best friend, for so may years. We started grade 1 together, in 1953. Due to our life/personal circumstances, we lost touch for a few years in the late 80's, but, thru the miracle of the internet, connected again. In that time, she suffered the death of her first husband, at 29 years old, a remarriage, the blended family, the death of her infant daughter, then a divorce, then another marriage and another blended family, then the birth of "their" child, a heart attack at 50, then ovarian cancer at 56. March would have been 5 years since the first diagnosis, so, given the prognosis, she was, by medical standards, an exception to the norm, having "survived" this dreaded disease for almost 5 years. Throughout it all, she kept her sense of humor, her dignity and most notable, her sense of acceptance for whatever was. She was impeccable with her word and deed. I have always felt that she was the "better" part of me; she brought out the best in everyone.

The very day Karen was taken into palliative care, I got word that my desk mate/co-worker, (47 years old) had died, most likely, by his own hand. What a shock; no one had an inclination as to his mindset. His mother died two days after his funeral, I believe, of a broken heart.

So, although the other deaths were very, very sad, these two shook me to my roots.

My mom has been doing ok, at least she is sleeping thru the nite, now; September, October and November were extremley difficult with her prowling around all nite. I had a "televised teleconference" with a geriatrics specialist (from Thunder Bay) in early December. It was most informative and he answered many,many of the questions I had, however, he ended the session with telling me that if it were him, and he had no quality of life, he would hope someone/his caregiver, would "withhold" any vital medications, and that would most likely induce a stroke/heart attack, causing him to die a peaceful death. He asked for my opinion on that statement. My response: "she chose me to be her caregiver/decision maker; that would not be within my realm of decision making"

So,,thanks for allowing me the luxury of rambling here! Very cathartic.
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Re: What do you do for social outings?

Postby OGrubber » Dec 21, 2008 9:52 am

Oh Lulu, Your road is rocky indeed. I am sorry.
I'm glad you decided to re-connect here.
Market Gardening - Just another day at the plant.
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Re: What do you do for social outings?

Postby B_BQ » Dec 21, 2008 10:27 am

Gosh, Lulu! You certainly have been given a very big cross to bear.
My wish is for you to find the additional strength you will need to continue on, and hope that those around you will be there to help when needed.
My very best wishes to you. You are one of the good ones.
~BBQ
Zone 5b
South/Central Ontario

Every day may not be good, but there's something good in every day
~ Author Unknown
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Re: What do you do for social outings?

Postby evepet » Dec 21, 2008 10:34 am

Lulu, it's good to hear from you again. And I'm so sorry to hear about the loss of your friend Karen. She sounds like a very special person. The death of your colleaque must have been such a shock too... as well as that of his mother. I hope you're able to find strength and solace in your family and spiritual connections through these difficult times.
'If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no use being a damn fool about it.' W.C. Fields
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