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Going on silent mode

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Going on silent mode

Postby Heidi S » Oct 03, 2012 9:28 pm

I have to detach the fixtures and fittings that bring internet into Dad's apartment this evening, so I will be WiFi less, shortly. I know, I'm a chatty one, and love having something to say about everything - so it will be hard for me - but I will be home in PG Saturday evening and back on line.

Ta Ta for now, fellow gardeners!
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Re: Going on silent mode

Postby Eeyore » Oct 04, 2012 9:48 am

TTYL Heidi!
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“Those who say it can't be done are usually interrupted by others doing it.” ` James Arthur Baldwin"
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Re: Going on silent mode

Postby Heidi S » Oct 06, 2012 7:09 pm

So, the move is done, and he is settling in here at the seniors' residence. There are a number of friendly people who are engaging him at meals and inviting him to participate in events; he is getting more stimulation that he would in the old apartment for sure.

The apartment is bright and sunny with large windows and a reasonable amount of space. The handyman will come by to hang his art and photos eventually which will add lots of colour to the place.

He was down the hall for cribbage for a couple of hours last night while I set up his computer and cleaned up stuff.

I think this means the move has been a success… My flight home is in 3.5 hours!
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Re: Going on silent mode

Postby maryjanej » Oct 08, 2012 1:44 am

Heidi
I'm glad to hear that your dad seems to be adjusting well. And is making friends and being active.

It will be better for you also knowing that he his being cared for and not living on his own.

Hope you had a nice flight back.

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Re: Going on silent mode

Postby RubyTuesday49 » Oct 12, 2012 12:44 am

Wow you guys! I tried to go onto this forum earlier today and paniced because it said it could not open this Internet site!! Yikes!! I mean what would we do if we lost touch??!!! Thank Gawd the problem was resolved when I went back on after dinner!! Whew!!
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Re: Going on silent mode

Postby CdnChelsea » Oct 12, 2012 7:08 am


I'm pretty sure your dad is going to love the seniors residence, Heidi. My best friends' mom moved to a seniors residence here and she loves it.

At first she didn't because she was forced to give up her home. Unfortunately she has the beginning of Alzheimers and the family felt she would be better off in the home instead of being all alone in a big house.

I help keep an eye on her and take her to all her doctors appointments. We have some great discussions about all the events and outings going on at the seniors home. She has made new friends and seems to enjoy her life there.

"Those who dwell among the beauties and mysteries of the earth
are never alone or weary of life" ~ Rachel Carson
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Re: Going on silent mode

Postby RubyTuesday49 » Oct 12, 2012 10:57 pm

Heidi - I worked in a Long Term Care Facility and I can't tell you how many times we had people come in "under protest" and within a few months at the most, they loved it there. There were ups & downs of course but they liked that they could sit around with a bunch of people their age and visit, listen or just be there - or go to their room and have "me time". Put lots of things in his room that have special meaning to him - pictures etc. If he is willing and able - take him out for lunch now and then. Be really positive about his "new home" - try not to feel bad that he has to be in a home. He will receive very good care and you won't have to worry about him being alone! {{ HUGS }}

Ruby
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Re: Going on silent mode

Postby Heidi S » Oct 13, 2012 12:35 am

Dad actually chose to make this move, since he didn't feel safe living alone any more. We haven't started the process of selling his apartment, so he can change his mind if he wants to. He is fully capable of making his own decisions, but his body is just failing more and more. Since last January he has gone on continuous oxygen due to COPD, emphysema and Fibrosis in his lungs, and had his levels increased twice, then fractured his right humerus very badly, so he is really struggling to live independently now.

He seems to be adjusting to the change, although he certainly was cantankerous on the phone yesterday; I think the change in weather got to him. His main complaint is that the veggies are overcooked - I can see that, and he got used to me cooking for him for 3 months.

The building he is now in is considered 'supportive' living vs. long term care. But it is likely that he will need more care at any time, and will need to be moved to a higher needs place abruptly. This was the solution for now, but it may not be really long term if his health gets much worse. He has been assessed by the local health authority and they are providing him with a personal care aide to help with bathing twice a week, but that is separate from the building's services. We could have done this in his apartment, but he was lonely and scared, so he made the decision to live somewhere with more people and back up. I just facilitated the whole thing.

Meanwhile, my brother and his long time partner decided to get married at Christmas, partially because they want to do it before Dad can't participate - we don't think he will make another year to be honest. We just have to roll with the changes as they come...
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Re: Going on silent mode

Postby RubyTuesday49 » Oct 13, 2012 9:53 pm

That's great that your Dad was able to make that decision to move. I'm sure it will be the best decision. A little more peace of mind for you too. He is going to grumble about food and other things but that's just part of communal living. It's important to be supportive and keep a positive attitude about all of the ups and downs with him.

My Dad had a dementia and he stayed at home - my Mom was 13 yrs younger and didn't want him in a home - even though it would have been a lot easier on her. He passed away at 89 yrs old - 10 yrs ago. We moved south and Mom lives with us now - she's 86! I can see some of her faculties are slipping a bit but she's in pretty good shape. She walks every day and bakes a lot - unfortunately for my waistline!! LOL We sit upstairs in the evenings with her til 10 pm. We got laptops so we could sit and passively watch TV with her - she likes to watch the same show - over, and over . . . . ;-) - because she may have missed something ha ha ha !! hence the reason we have laptops and play on them - and we just let her watch whatever she wants. We would like to do more travelling but I don't feel comfortable leaving her home alone - especially in the winter (when we would want to travel).
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Re: Going on silent mode

Postby LeeInEdmonton » Oct 13, 2012 11:43 pm

These kind of stories underline that being alone in old age is not a good idea. Myrt & myself have entered our early 80's & we are without children so when one of us passes on the other will be truely alone. We do have a few younger friends however, we have always been very independent & it is doubtful that either one of us would impose on anyone for help. I can see us folding up our activities, Myrt with her quilting & me with my wood working(toys), finding a apartment with some assisted living & selling the house. Neither one of us deal with stress very well so not looking forward to such a big change or at least the transition to same.

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